Elaine Dizon is a life and mindset coach, writer, mother of 2, a recognized AT&T Business Cultural Champion, and a 2021 recipient of the AT&T Spark Award – the company’s highest honor for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion work bridging Tolerance to Understanding. She supports working moms with their next courageous conversation by reconnecting and advocating for what they would really like to say in personal and professional spaces.

Successful family game nights hinge on this quality. Being playful. It’s interesting how we start our lives playing to learn. Then one day, learning takes over and playing takes a back seat. And then the grind of work life begins and if we aren’t careful, we lose the childlike beginner’s mind that supports us in growth. That’s why our family strives to have at least two game nights a month. Two evenings where we turn down the volume of technology, play music, and engage with one another in friendly competition. To make it a success, here are a few tips:

Find games that fit all age groups

One of the best games for all age groups – as young as four – is charades. Pressman’s Charades for Kids has been a go-to game for our family for four years now. Following the no talking rules, learning how to act out phrases and behaviors while minding your time, and taking turns has helped our kids with some basic gamesmanship. Since each card has a picture, you can elect the youngest to use the picture as the clue and act it out. For this stodgy rule following parent, this game allows me to throw a bit of caution to the wind and not take myself so seriously. It’s a great reminder to laugh and lose the weight of the day through laughter. My children appreciate it when I let my guard down. To see mommy mess up, lose a turn, or not answer correctly normalizes me. Yes kids, mommy does have clay feet after all.

Have snacks on hand

When game nights are scheduled, you have a chance to menu plan. Kids charcuterie boards are always fun to make. Crackers, cheese, salami, grapes, dried fruits, and sliced strawberries are great options for game night. Chill some Martinelli’s Sparkling Apple Cider to make it even more festive. Spontaneous game nights lead to apple slices with peanut butter, popcorn, and root beer. Keep it simple…yet special to mark the occasion.

Read the rules together

This is always an interesting exercise and much needed. Laying out how the game is played, asking/answering questions, and strategizing how to win makes for great conversation. It’s amusing to see how creative people can be to win. Equally, when children point out where you falter in following the rules, it is a humbling moment. There is a give and take of support in playing the game and when it is grounded in the rules, it minimizes misunderstandings or opens the door for negotiating. Lately, we’ve been playing Five Crowns – a play on Gin Rummy that starts out simple and gets a little complex hand by hand. With this game, the kids use their math skills, create patterns, and employ strategy on what cards to keep or lose.

Call an all player-wide time out

Game play energy can move from fun to frustrating quickly. As a family, choose a time out word where all players know that it is time for an all-player time out – no questions or comments until time out is over and game play resumes. Grounded in the rules, pick up where the game left off. Sometimes in the flurry of activity, we say and do things that may rub other players the wrong way. Acknowledge the moment and keep it lighthearted. It’s time to connect, not compete.

Always shake hands at the end

This is one of the sweetest moments on family game night. Taking the time to say, “Good game” to one another…no matter who won, who lost, how the game went, and even if the game doesn’t complete, it offers the game night closure. Those extra seconds, shaking each other’s hands and saying “Good game” gives everyone a chance to remember the highlights of the game and creates a tradition and ritual that you can look back on with a smile. It’s also a great segue towards clean up.

Other games we’ve been enjoying lately, Throw Throw Burrito and Qwirkle. Final bonus tip? Find a special journal just for game night. In addition to keeping score and tallies, create entries that outline who played, what games you played, and perhaps the snacks for that evening. Fill up the journal and create a keepsake. You never know when you might need to recheck that score from that one time you played that game, you know the name of that one – the one you can’t remember.

Game On!

Your Coach Mom,

Elaine

To catch Elaine being playful on a podcast, listen to Jill Nicolini interviewing Elaine on an episode of the PBNN podcast. You’ll get to hear more about courageous conversations and yes, that ever-present tension around time and cleaning up the house. Listen to the episode on Spotify.